Proving Your Worth
by Key to the Rose-Colored Clock
Summary: Utau Hoshina is an impoverished singer who is struggling just to get by. Her only friend moved away many years ago, but now he's back and a CEO of a famous music company. With such a connection, Utau has a great chance of making it in the biz. But there are so many obstacles, both romantic and music-related, that she desperately needs to prove her worth.
1. Chapter 1 Beginnings are Tougher

_Hello friends, readers who randomly came across this story, and anyone else who I couldn't think of. I'd like to welcome you to my first chapter of 'Proving Your Worth'. I feel as if this title is a far more accurate portrayal of Utau's personality than you might think at this moment, so keep an open mind when reading and most of all, try to enjoy the chapter._

_I will only do one disclaimer in this entire book, because I think it's rather obvious that I don't own Shugo Chara. There it is; that was the disclaimer._

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><p>Utau sprinted from the office, to the elevator, through the hall, and out the door of Japan Music Production Incorporated. She had kept her head low so they hadn't seen her tears. Just a glance at her face would tell you her story; Eagerness, rejection, disappointment, regret, embarrassment. Another music company had denied her. 'You're just not what we're looking for' they had told her so many times. Then to soften the blow they would praise her with meaningless words of encouragement like 'Keep trying, you've got a beautiful voice!' and 'You're a stunning girl. You just need to find the right place for you.'<p>

"The fools." She scoffed, tears still streaming down her cheeks. She tried to be an adult about it and not take it as a personal attack, but how could she take it as anything but? She had put her heart and soul into that interview and had put herself out there, only to be rejected and utterly humiliated. "They think this will stop me. Hah. I'll only use this pain as incentive to get better. They have only motivated me!"

Her spirits lifted, she turned from the depressing building and walked to the park, where she always had an audience who was willing to listen. Her voice captivated those who were out on afternoon strolls, or dates, or just passing by. She wanted the world to recognize her talent, and she wanted her music to speak to people, but how could she? By starting at the bottom, of course.

Another large crowd of people gathered around her as she sang to her hearts content. She was used to large crowds, but for some reason, this one was smaller than usual. Maybe her poignant attitude she had acquired after the interview was affecting her singing? It was possible, but unlikely. She never let her feelings mix in with her songs.

A little orange haired boy was tugging on his mother's sleeve, begging her to let him listen to Utau's singing. She reluctantly allowed him to drag her to the crowd of people, and both the mother and the child enjoyed the performance. Utau smiled to herself. The little boy looked so much like her old friend, Kukai. They were twelve and ten when they met, Utau being older, but a week after Utau's sixteenth birthday, Kukai announced that he was moving to China for a few years.

"China!" Utau had demanded when he told her. She had never had a single friend in her life, mainly because she was always too much of an introvert, and didn't even get along with her own mother that well. The idea of losing her best friend, and only friend, was too drastic to comprehend.

"Well, yeah." The boy, then fourteen, had replied. He wouldn't even look her in the eye as he said this. She held back tears, only because it was in her nature, and took him up in an enormous hug.

"You'll come back, right?" She said as her chest began to shudder. Though initially shocked, Kukai almost immediately wrapped his arms around her in return. He was a good 4 inches shorter than her at that time, but it was to be expected, as he was two years younger.

"Of course. I'm not sure when I'll be back, or if I'll even be able to get in touch with you when I do return, but I promise we will meet again." This wasn't what Utau wanted to hear though. She wanted him to tell her how he would see if maybe he could stay in Japan, or how he'd fly back on weekends, or the second he got a chance he would call her and talk to her for hours on end. But he never said any of these things, which only served to disappoint Utau even more. She had always been a shy, reclusive person, but when Kukai had not followed her romantic fantasies of him sweeping her off her feet, she gave up all hope and promised to only focus on her music.

When Utau's performance was over, the little orange-haired boy came up to him, smiling widely. Utau bent over to hear his quiet voice.

"You are a gweat singer!" He told her, his arms exploding in the air to show just how wonderful he thought she was. She felt so proud at that moment that she could hardly contain it. The boy's mother pulled him back a few steps with her gentle arms.

"Now now, Aito, let me speak to her for a moment." The soft-spoken mother moved him to her side and wrapped her arm around him to keep him still. "Who are you with? Japan Music Production Incorporated? Yuna-Japan Inc? EMI Music Japan?" Utau lowered her gaze to the ground, and her smile faded away to a solemn frown.

"Actually, they've all… rejected me." She admitted. Once it was out there and no longer festering inside of her, she felt the power to raise her head and look the woman square in the eye. She wasn't finished yet, after all. She would, one day, become a famous vocalist, no matter what they said!

"Really? I honestly cannot believe that. Anyways, if that's the case, you should consider some smaller music corporations. There are also foreign music companies that might be interested in you. America, the Middle East, China, and those types of places are options too, you know. You don't have to start out local."

Although Utau was getting advice from a stranger who knew nothing of her desperate attempts to get signed in the past, she couldn't help but feel better hearing these options. Honestly, she hadn't considered them. Maybe if she spoke to her mother more than once a month she might have suggested these things, but as that wasn't the case, Utau had never thought of it like that.

"Thanks, I'll definitely look into that." She said with sincere gratitude. The woman smiled, and after hushing her son a final time, prepared to turn away. But just as she was about to leave, she remembered something.

"Oh! I mentioned China just a moment ago, didn't I? Well, my cousin is also an aspiring singer, and she got signed onto Asian Culture Music Inc. The CEO's son and he are from China, but they moved to Japan to build their business up even higher. In China they're quite popular and well-known, so it won't be long before they are popular here as well. You should take advantage of their current state and talk to them." Utau thanked her again for the advice and waved as the mother and son walked away, happy to have heard Utau sing.

_I like making people smile. _She thought blissfully, her mind wandering and swooning at the idea of making the whole world smile. _And that's exactly why I'm going to talk to some of the agencies that woman mentioned._

**Ƹ̵̡****Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

After returning home from her rather disappointing day of job-hunting, Utau was more than relieved to finally arrive in front of her apartment building. When she had first chosen it, it seemed the ideal place to live for someone like her. Small and cheap, but also in the center of town. Good for networking, right? Wrong. Half of the rooms were filled with 50 year old men whose wives had kicked them out, and the other half were aspiring artists like her. Not just singers, but painters and dances too, and plenty of other competitors.

But the rent was low and she had already signed a lease, so she stuck with that particular building. Her apartment on the fourth floor had no elevator, which meant lots of walking just to get to her home.

Utau's undersized home was hardly worth living in. The combined living room, dining room, and kitchen were hardly larger than the average Master Bedroom. A stove, refrigerator, sink, and dishwasher, plus a table large enough for two chairs were all that could fit in the kitchen area, while the connected living room had merely a television, couch, and small fireplace.

Her bedroom and bathroom combined were even smaller than the other room in her home, which was perfect for someone like her, but she still hated the size. She knew she couldn't afford more, and she knew she didn't have friends or family to entertain anyway, but she still wished she had a larger home.

_I should call Mom_. She thought to herself. As a 21 year old woman, she was free to live her life, and she hated the idea of calling her mother and asking for advice, but if she called her mother she might also ask for updates on her dad, and how Ikuto was doing. Ikuto, her elder brother, was engaged to some woman Utau had never even met and didn't really care to meet. She unlocked her door and immediately dropped her purse onto the ground. Within seconds she had changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt, laid herself on her couch, and grabbed the phone book and her cell-phone.

A few small agencies offered her an interview, some completely ignored her, and Asian Culture Music Inc. advised she bring her résumé down to the main office the next morning. Utau excitedly began typing up her résumé, called her old school teachers and asked them to write her a letter of recommendation, and even texted her mother that she had found a place that was interested in her. After dinner, she was preparing to go to bed, when she started thinking about _why_ she had been asked to come down. She replayed the conversation a hundred times in her mind.

"Can you please tell me your name, age, and address?" The secretary had asked her when she called. It was really just standard procedure, and the bare minimum amount of information that could be asked.

"Utau Hoshina, age 21, and my address is…" After giving the information asked for, the secretary said she needed just a few minutes and put Utau on hold. Anxiety built up inside of Utau as she waited for the woman to take her off hold and talk to her, but she was forced to endure 15 agonizing minutes of waiting. Finally, the secretary returned.

"May I ask where your home town is, the name of your mother, and of any siblings?" Utau thought those were very strange questions, but if she would be more likely to be accepted, she had no problem with answering.

"Um, Tokyo, Souko is my mother's name, and I have one brother named Ikuto." The woman put her on hold again, but returned within minutes this time.

"Can you come tomorrow morning, at about 10 AM, for an interview?" She asked very suddenly. Utau couldn't believe it. That's not how it worked unless you "knew somebody", and she certainly didn't know anybody. The now electrified young adult thanked her and agreed to be at the building at 10 AM prompt. That night she slept very well, eager for the next day to come, with dreams filled to the brim with the possibility of her life changing forever, and for the better.

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><p><em>Your reviews mean a lot to me, though you aren't obligated to review. Have a nice day, and don't forget to keep writing.<em>


	2. Chapter 2 Beautifully Quiet Butterflies

_So this is chapter 2? Wow, it's barely getting started! I can't wait to write more of this; I've got many plans for where this is going.  
>I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of the people who are reading this, especially if some of them were lead here from my other Shugo Chara fanfictions. I have 3 others in case you aren't, so if you've got some free time, check that out. =3<br>_

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><p>When morning finally escaped the grip of night, I found myself immediately full of energy and ready to take on the day. Though outside it was foggy and depressing, I was more enthusiastic than I had ever been before. Normally I would sit at home, reading a book or practicing my singing, but today felt like it would be special, so I allowed myself to get excited.<p>

Too nervous to eat, I scanned my drawers and closet for something appropriate to wear. Image is everything, especially in music, so I needed something that would sum me up in a positive light. Finally deciding on a short black skirt and a very professional looking white-blouse, I grabbed my résumé and rushed out the door, eager to arrive at the interview.

After asking for directions from a very nice elderly man who happened to be walking past my building, I arrived at 'The Corporation', as I called it in my head, with thirty minutes to spare.

_Thirty minutes to wait, I don't want to be early, and I have my résumé on me? _I thought to myself, an idea forming. Acting completely on impulse, I made my way into The Corporation and asked if I might make a few copies of something before my interview. The secretary, a different lady than I had spoken to the night before, showed me to the copying room after verifying that I did in fact have an interview later that day.

It took me only two minutes to make about ten copies and then dash outside to look for places to drop off my freshly made copies. I loved the idea of working at a small store a few feet away from The Corporation, just in case I was employed by them, so I dropped off my résumé at a record store, a diner, two fast food restaurants, a flower shop, an ice-cream parlor, a gym and one motel. I still had two resumes left over and eight minutes before my interview, so I skipped to the Asian Culture Music Inc. building, ready to take on the interview.

The secretary graciously led me to a conference room on the top floor. Once inside, I stopped being afraid. This was my chance to make something of myself and I wasn't going to screw it up. Being friendly is important, but I knew that I'd have to be myself if I wanted to get signed, and honestly, I'm a very quiet, stick-to-myself person.

Within minutes of arriving in the conference room, two tall, well built men in expensive looking suits came in and sat down on the other end of the table. They were followed my an elderly Chinese man who slowly made his way to the seat across from me.

"Utau Hoshina?" The man said quietly, almost as if he didn't want me to hear him.

"Uh- yes." I answered immediately, but with clear hesitation in my voice. The man smiled.

"I am Jinhai Wong, head CEO of Asian Culture Music Incorporated." I stood and bowed to him to show respect, then sat again. "Now let's be quite frank, shall we? You got this interview because of your connections, but that doesn't mean you'll get accepted. Are you even remotely talented?" I blinked a few times, trying to process the old man's words. How could I have connections? I barely knew a single person in the world, let alone people in high places. But his question about having talent was the thing that I felt most angry about, so I focused on that. Of course, respect is everything, especially to this clearly Chinese man, so I would have to keep her temper under control.

"Yes sir, I do have a good deal of talent." And at that I performed, showing eagerly my abilities and impressing those in the room. The CEO smiled and even urged me to continue singing after I had finished. When I had sung everything he requested, I looked at him intently and prepared myself for his conclusion.

"And you have had no previous professional singing occupations?" He asked, jotting things down on a notepad and whispering things to the men behind him to write as well. I was silent for a moment as I considered my answer. Lying was strictly out of the question, but telling the truth might be catastrophic.

"No sir, I haven't really had any paid gigs before." I responded as honestly as possible. It was very hard for me _not _to stretch the truth but I knew why I couldn't.

"What do you know about having singing as a career then?" He was going to say no. I could tell that he wasn't pleased with my résumé, or my abilities. But for the second time I waited a few moments before responding, preparing my answer mentally.

"I know that it's not easy. I know it takes countless hours of hard work, serious devotion, and a fair amount of trial and error. But I'm persistent, can write my own songs, and loyal. Of course, if _you_ won't sign me, it's not like you were my first choice, so I'll just move on." I stared at him defiantly after stating this, as if challenging him to argue. To my great surprise, he smiled and broke out in laughter.

"I like you!" He said between laughing fits. I was just as shocked as the big men behind him. It was evident by their faces that they were preparing to throw me out of the building. "You've got spunk, and you remind me of my son! He really wants to see you, by the way. I'll send him up in a bit. But first, I'm going to send Darius here to go get the paperwork I need for you."

**Ƹ̵̡****Ӝ̵̨̄****Ʒ**

After all of the paperwork had been signed and I had been in that building for nearly two hours, Mr. Jinhai had returned with his son. In came a strapping young man, about my age, but probably only 19. He was tall and well-built and dressed exceedingly well. His hair, a sort of auburn color, fell in messy layers, probably natural, from his head. He scanned me up and down with emerald green eyes, and a slight twinkle and wide smile appeared out of no where as he ran over to me.

"Utau!" He shouted, grabbing me into an enormous hug from which I couldn't escape. A total stranger was hugging me as if I was his sister and I was not pleased. So what if it was Mr. Jinhai's son? That didn't give him the right to call me by my first name or act so personal with me. I stomped my heel into his toes and slapped his face to give him the message that he wasn't quite getting. He took a step back, thoroughly confused, and the two men who had come in earlier ran over to me and grabbed me. I struggled to get out of their grip, but they were very large, and I didn't dare challenge them.

The boy touched his cheek and frowned as if he was offended that I hadn't hugged him back. Now _that_ didn't make any sense! Mr. Jinhai rushed to his son's side, looked him over, and then walked over to me.

"Miss Hoshina, what was that?" He demanded.

"How dare a perfect stranger do that to me? I should call the police!" I snapped back. The boy now looked hurt. What did I say?

"Excuse me?" Then he turned to his son. "I was under the impression that you knew this girl. Why did you lie to me?" He seemed both disappointed and as confused as the rest of us.

"I didn't dad! I do know her! Darius, Lee, let go of her, she just doesn't recognize me." The men listened to the boy and very uneasily released me. I looked closely at his face, trying hard to have my memory jogged by any key features. His voice was definitely familiar, but I just couldn't place it. And besides that, he didn't look like anyone with the last name of 'Wong' that I knew. Cautiously I took a few steps toward him and it hit me.

"K-Kukai?" I asked near silently. He smiled and hugged me again, this time much gentler and more compassionate. I found myself wrapping my arms around him too despite my better judgment. My best friend, my only friend, was in Japan again. Things didn't really add up, but for the moment, I just enjoyed being in his arms. When we finally broke apart I was prepared to question him.

"What are you doing back in Japan? And this man… he's not your dad!" Uh-oh. I had let those words slip out and probably offended Mr. Jinhai. But he didn't seem concerned, so I returned my attention to Kukai.

"Well, it'll probably be easier to explain if I answer your second question first. No, this isn't my dad. When I moved to China, almost immediately after getting settled, my parents divorced. My dad went over to America and my mom and I stayed in China. She met Jinhai and they got married a year later. When dad decided he wanted to expand his music corporation to Japan, we moved back. I didn't contact you because I figured you had moved on with your life…" He trailed off, clearly leaving something out, but it was fine. I got the bulk of it.

"I see. Well I'm glad you're back. Wow you've changed! And… are you taller than me?" I laughed, seeing that he was now a good two and a half inches taller than me.

"Guess so! Hey, it's noon; want to go get some lunch?" He asked, pulling out his wallet. It looked very stuffed, as if he had dozens of credit cards and a good amount of cash cramped inside. I nodded, glad that I would get to spend some more time with him. Thanking Mr. Jinhai, we left The Corporation and set out for lunch. Of course 'The Corporation' didn't really seem to fit the building anymore. I would need to pick a new name, but I didn't feel like thinking about it yet. For the moment, I just wanted to eat.

"Where do you want to eat?" I asked as we walked down the road. I didn't really want to ride in his car, so we walked aimlessly in search of food.

"I know a great ramen place down the road." He suggested. Immediately in response, I shuttered.

"Ramen? As in the noodles? Oh gosh, no. That's disgusting." Kukai stared at me, completely shocked.

"WHAT? But you used to love them when we were kids!"

"And since then my taste buds have developed. Ramen is sickening and we won't eat it. But I do know a nice Thai place up the road." While Kukai did agree on the Thai place, he was still arguing the whole walk that Ramen was delicious and defending it against my attacks.

It felt good knowing that Kukai was back in my life. A new chapter of my life was beginning; one where things were easier, and hopefully happier. I couldn't open up to a single person, not even family, but when I was with Kukai, I felt like a butterfly. I was free, I could go anywhere I wanted, and as delicate as I was, someone was admiring me. I felt like a totally different person, and I had Kukai to thank for that. Even I didn't know where my life would go after today, but wherever it went, I felt like I didn't have to fear it.


	3. Chapter 3 One of her more Eventful Days

_As you can see, I've begun updating again. No particular author notes today except thank you to the nine people who have reviewed._

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><p>Utau's P.o.V.<p>

My day with Kukai was probably the most fun I had ever had. I wasn't reclusive or quiet, or afraid to meet anyone's eyes. I stood tall and firm and even snorted when he told a joke. I thought of my mother, the women who had raised me, who I hadn't spoken to in a very long time. Well, I had spoken to her briefly to let her know about the interview, but it was a cold and awkward two minutes, and not something I was interested in repeating. That led my thoughts to my blue-haired brother. He and his ditzy fiancée were probably married by now, I realized. After all, I had first heard of their engagement last year.

They didn't invite me to the wedding, I then grasped. I could have sung at it… seen my brother… I didn't like the thought of being the estranged sister, but I had certainly earned the role. I wanted to call Ikuto and get an update but then I remembered all the other things I had to do. Clean my apartment, pay the bills, and check up on the résumé I had dropped off the day before were among them. If there was one thing I learned from Ikuto it was persistency. Those people needed to know I wanted a job, and I was going to show them. Ever since I lost my last job I had been paying for everything from my savings, which were quite depleted.

Cleaning the apartment took a good forty-five minutes which I found to be spectacular. Possibly the only benefit of having such a ridiculously small apartment was that I could make every inch sparkle in less than an hour. The bills were low again because I hadn't eaten lunch a few days or breakfast for a week straight, and Kukai had paid for lunch the day before. Most lights were off because I honestly preferred natural sun-light and candle light to light bulbs. I rarely watched TV because singing and reading were more than enough to keep my attention. As for water, I seldom left the house, so I didn't really see the need to shower all that much, and when I did, it was typically for about 5 minutes. It would seem to anyone else that my bills most therefore be very low and that I had a lot of spare money, but that was not the case. I had about $800 left in my account and I didn't own a credit-card, so unless I found a new income source I would have to move in with my mother again. Like she'd have me.

With a sparkling apartment and my bills paid I pushed myself to go check on my applications. But of course, that would mean going out in public, which wasn't something I preferred to do. I had often gotten angry at myself for this attitude, because celebrities are always in the public eye, but what was I supposed to do? Change who I am? Quickly shutting off the lights in every room I scurried from my apartment building carrying a parasol to protect my skin from the sun. Since I spent so much time inside, my skin had become very delicate and was easily burned.

When I finally found myself at the record store (the first place I had dropped off arésumé) I was informed that they weren't hiring, though they appreciated my application. The diner was closed, both fast-food restaurants weren't impressed, the motel didn't even let me get a word in before saying I wasn't what they were looking for, and the gym didn't like my attitude. By then I was upset and angry so I didn't bother going to the Ice Cream Parlor or the Flower Shop. Including those two and the closed diner, I still had 3 potential part-time jobs in the near future. Surely _one_ of them would hire me?

As I found myself approaching my apartment building I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt. I had promised myself I would call Ikuto but I put my priorities first. That was perfectly acceptable to anyone else, but I still felt terrible about it. Was that fair? Of course I didn't like to use any minutes on my cell-phone that weren't necessary and using someone else' phone wasn't going to happen so I decided to wait until after 9 PM, when my free minutes kicked in.

Now that I had nearly everything done I decided to return to my apartment, light a fire, crawl onto the couch and start a book. The dim lights lulled me to sleep and by the time I awoke it was almost 11 at night. It wasn't acceptable to call someone after 9:30, I recalled learning, but maybe Ikuto would still be awake and wouldn't mind a quick call from his little sister? It was a long shot, after all, I wasn't exactly the most involved person in the family, but family is family. It seemed like an easy thing to do; pick up the phone, dial his number and wait for him to answer, but my life is never so simple. I had to decide whether to call his home-phone or his cell-phone, and then consider what to say when he answered before I dialed. Next I decided how I wanted to sound to him. Cool? Snooty? Sophisticated? Accomplished? Poor? Weak? How would I present myself to him?

_It's something you'll have to start considering if you want to be famous. If you can't even figure out how you want your BROTHER to view you, how will you decide how the whole world should view you?_ I reminded myself. I chose a bit of a 'just a check up' attitude, dialed the number, and waited breathlessly. _This is your test. Don't fail._

"Hello?" His familiar voice seemed to breathe into my soul. Ikuto, the brother who I hadn't seen in years, talking to me again. Well, I was the one who stopped speaking to him, but still, it warmed me to hear him again.

"Ikuto, its Utau." I didn't bother explaining the reason for my late-night, unexpected call. That would make me seem more aloof.

"Utau? Really? No way! What's going on?" He asked, surprise and relief in his voice. That was odd, but I didn't mind. This would help me control him, just as any celebrity should.

"Oh I just... wanted to say hello. It's been over three years now and I figured it was time to check-up on you." Yes, I had nailed it! Or so I thought.

"Check up on me? Hah! It's the other way around, little sis. I'm genuinely shocked that you called me. You should come on over!" I stopped breathing for an instant. I knew what I had done.

"Oh but it's so late and I don't even know where you live..." I tried, hoping I could resolve the matter. I could feel myself no longer being cool or aloof. Now I sounded frightened.

"I'll fax you over the directions. Then you just hop in your car and you can stay the night. I've got a guest room, you know." And there it was. The words that caused my heart to pound. I didn't HAVE a fax-machine. I didn't HAVE a car. I walked everywhere. How could I make myself sound successful if I didn't have anything of value?

"I-I really just called to say hello. Maybe anoth-ther time." I stumbled, trying to return myself to how I was just moments before.

"Ikuto, come to bed." A female called from Ikuto's side. I nearly gasped. I hadn't remembered that he was married now.

"Okay. Sorry Utau, I've got to go. But you should come over another time and we'll have dinner. Then we can talk about how your life is going. Bye." He said, though he had hung up before I could tell him good-bye as well.

Now I sat on the couch, my hand to my pounding heart. I would need so much help to become famous. Maybe more than Kukai could get me.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The next morning I found myself sleeping on the ground. My body was turned in strange contortions and I had a twisting pain in my back. Probably nightmares had caused this. I dressed myself slowly to avoid any pain, snacked on a few hand-fulls of cereal, and sauntered to Asian Culture Music Inc. I had an appointment with Mr Wong to work on beginning my career but I doubted he would be particularly impressed with me today. I didn't seem energized or cheerful or anything that would make me stand out. I was quiet, beside myself with sadness for some reason, and uninterested in anything said. Mr Wong noticed this about me though it seemed almost refreshing to him. I asked him about it and he smiled slightly.

"All day, every day, hopefuls like yourself smile when they want to cry, laugh when they want to scream, and compliment me when they'd prefer to murder me. It's nice to see someone who's comfortable enough to be themselves around me. Being a CEO is very intimidating to aspiring singers, you know." I returned his smile now, understanding what he meant. "Now that doesn't mean I don't want someone who knows how to lie about how they're feeling. I don't care if your father just committed suicide; if you're on a TV interview and they haven't asked you about your father, you smile and act as if nothing has happened." I nodded, understanding this as well, though his words did pierce me. I hadn't seen my father since I was 6 so I didn't know if he was alive or not. Putting the idea of suicide in my head only freaked me out but I wouldn't allow it to mess with me right now.

"Of course. Now let's get down to it. What do I need to do to become celebrity material?" He frowned at my abruptness. Maybe he wanted to spend more time chatting?

"Someone's eager, I see."

"The sooner the better." I countered. He seemed amused and decided to answer my question.

"Well let's take one step at a time. You have talent but you'll need classes with some of our training professionals. I think we'll start with...-" He checked something written on a piece of yellow paper. "singing, dancing, songwriting, and image. How does that sound?" It seemed too good to be true, which was what frightened me.

"Wonderful. But... am I to pay for these teachers?" He laughed at me as if I had just told the funniest joke in existence. He certainly laughed freely when he felt like it.

"My dear, I am paying YOU to learn from these teachers. I've hired you and you'll be paid. These teachers are at my expense!" I suppose, if I was in his position and someone had said that to me, I might laugh as well, but I was still mildly offended.

"Well alright. When do I start?"

"Soon. You'll have a singing and songwriting meeting tomorrow at noon and 1, and a dancing and image meeting the next day at 4 and 5. Don't be late." He stood up, pulled out my chair, and walked with me to the elevator. He was a short, feeble old man, though he had a sort of vivacity that I hadn't seen in someone his age before. Kukai's mother was 35 when she had him, and since he's 19 now, that would make her 54. Mr Wong was looked 80! Something was wrong with that picture. I decided he was probably only in his mid 60's. What's wrong with marrying someone a bit older than you? That must've been Kukai's mother's mind-set.

"Sir, is Kukai in today?" I checked. It would be nice to speak to him a bit before I went back to my apartment.

"Ah, yes. He's in his office on the fifth floor. You're welcome to go see him." I thanked him and made my way up the stairs to his office. Sure, the elevator would have been faster, but it was being used a lot and I preferred to be alone. I knocked tentatively, waited for his signal, and entered. He was sitting at his desk reviewing a few dozen papers at once. He looked up to see who it was, saw it was me, and beamed. He really, really beamed. Just like when we were kids, I reminisced.

He ran to me and hugged me again just like the day before. I didn't know why he hugged me but it felt nice to be in his strong arms. We chatted for a bit and he offered to take me out to lunch again.

"My treat!" He assured me. I smiled and flicked his ear. "Oww!"

"No more fast-food, I'm going to get fat!" I warned. If he wasn't Kukai, if he was ANYONE else, he would have thought I was being serious. We both knew my metabolism was probably faster than he was.

"Alright, but we're still going to do something together. I'm tired of being in this office. Any ideas?" He asked as he tidied up his desk.

"No, not really." I responded nonchalantly. He smiled at me with a bit of a conniving expression.

"I know! Let's go to your apartment!"


	4. Chapter 4 Introvert Et Extrovert

Utau would have liked to walk slowly to her apartment with Kukai in a sad attempt at stalling, but Kukai would have nothing of it. He insisted that they ride in his stretch-limo. Thankfully, Kukai had them drive around in circles and watch television for about an hour before he decided they should go to her apartment. Utau wasn't sure why she didn't want Kukai to see her home; maybe it was because she practically lived in squalor and he was filthy rich. Or maybe she felt something awkward about Kukai and her being alone in her home.

Utau once had a crush on him and the thought of being completely alone in her home was frightening and exciting. She bashfully pointed out her apartment building to the driver. Kukai, who was closest to the door, climbed out first and then reached his hand out to help Utau out. She blushed the tiniest bit and took his hand.

Once in the building, Kukai seemed to look even more dashing. He brushed his auburn hair out of his eyes and shot a confident smile at one of the tenants who was on her way out of the building. The girl, who was about Utau's age, giggled back at him. He waved to her as she left, with her admiring his outfit. He sported a professional looking suit, which made him appear intelligent and powerful, but with the sleeves and legs pulled up to his elbows and knees so that he had a whimsical, playful look as well.

Utau felt a twinge of jealousy as she watched this encounter, but she immediately pushed it to the back of her mind. She dolefully walked up the stairs with an impatient Kukai at her heels. He hadn't meant anything by inviting himself over to her apartment. He really just wanted to be able to hang out with her like the old times. But as he watched his friend's hesitant expression and movements, he began to question what _she _thought about their visiting her apartment.

"Utau," Kukai began with clear hesitation in his voice. "Are you upset about something?" They had been silent for the last few minutes, so the unprovoked conversation caught Utau by surprise almost as much as the question did. She did not answer right away and worked to put a smile on her face before facing him.

"Not at all!" She assured him as she heaved herself up the stairs.

"Are you sure?" He continued to press the question in the hopes that he would get an honest answer.

_What am I supposed to say? That I'm uncomfortable with us being alone in my apartment?_"Positive."

Now they were in front of her front door. She wanted to suggest that they turn around and go somewhere else but she didn't want him to become suspicious. The thought of him seeing her tiny, ill-furnished home or her empty fridge worried her. She didn't enjoy the idea of being alone and secluded with her old crush and long time friend either. It then occurred to her that people might see the two going into her apartment. How many people would take her seriously as a singer if they thought she only became famous because she 'got around'? Thankfully the only person who saw them was the girl from 2B, but she barely knew Utau existed.

Utau opened the door and dropped her coat and purse on a chest beside the door. Kukai dropped his coat as well and smiled at Utau.

"Mind if I take a look around?" Utau wanted to tell him no but that would be rude.

"Go ahead. I'm just going to tidy up a bit." Kukai wandered around the tiny apartment hiding a grimace. The place was tiny, not even the size of his living room, and not kept up very well. The vast majority of the furniture was decaying before his eyes and it looked as though it needed deep cleaning. Still, he tried his best to keep a smile on his face for Utau's sake.

_So this is how she's been living?_ He thought, imagining her surviving completely on her own. It was very unpleasant and he didn't want to dwell on the idea any longer.

"It's pretty cold, huh Utau?" He noted as he made his way back to the tiny living room. He found his friend on the floor, struggling to start a fire.

"Yep, December is not a fun month. I… I don't suppose you have a lighter on you?" She checked upon realizing that hers was not going to work. Kukai frowned for a moment.

"Eh, no. No lighters. But that nice girl who smiled at me as we walked in might. How about we got ask her?" Kukai had meant absolutely nothing by this statement, and Utau knew it, but it still gnawed at her. What he meant to say was that _pretty _girl who was practically throwing herself at him would be willing to do just about anything for him.

"She was leaving. Why would she be back in her apartment so soon?" Utau growled, though she didn't mean to.

"You never know. I'm going to check. Come with me or stay here." Normally, Utau would have let him go without a second thought, but today she couldn't help but want to go. She didn't like the idea of being alone with him, but she _hated_ the idea of him being alone with the girl from 2B. So she decided to go with him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. While they were walking, she wondered why he trailed behind her instead of walking up front, but then it hit her: he didn't have any idea where the girl lived! If she had just refused to go with him he would have come back inside and been completely unable to see the girl.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _

Once they arrived at the front door, Kukai took over and moved himself in front of Utau to knock on the door. She didn't huff or puff or get upset, but she did cross her arms in a frustration that she couldn't understand. To her great surprise, the girl did open the door. As astonished as Utau was, the girl was even more shocked to see the handsome boy she had smiled at. And, of course, behind him was the girl who had shot her a death glare, but she didn't pay much attention to her.

"Hello, we're sorry to bother you, but do you have a lighter or some matches we could borrow?" Kukai asked. He was as endearing and charming as ever, and the girl practically melted.

"Oh, of course. Would you care to come in? It will take some rummaging to find them." Kukai thanked her and they entered the tiny apartment. It mirrored Utau's, though it was a bit larger and had more furniture. The atmosphere was brighter, as most of the walls were painted bright colors, and all sorts of artwork donned the walls. "I'm Aiko, by the way."

"I'm Kukai, and this is my friend Utau." In a last attempt to seem aloof yet approachable, Utau managed a meek smile and a slight wave of her hand. Aiko barely acknowledged Utau, but she paid enough attention to her to know that the two weren't a couple. "Are you, by any chance, an artist?"

"What gave it away? My hundreds of easels and painting-supplies, or the smocks over in the laundry room?" She laughed as she panned through drawer after drawer in her kitchen. Utau and Kukai laughed along.

"So Aiko, how long have you been living here?" Utau piped up, unable to keep silent anymore. She felt very territorial for an unknown reason so she decided to let her first instincts control her.

"About three months. It hasn't been easy, but the rents cheap and the neighbors don't mess with me. I'm surviving. How about you? What do you do Utau?" Aiko was very polite, Utau noted, in the wording of her sentences. She was far too social to be an artist.

"I'm an aspiring singer. I just got signed by Asian Culture Music Incorporated, where this guy happens to be a CEO." Utau said, deflecting the conversation from herself and over to Kukai. He blushed and tried to hide his face, but Aiko would have nothing of it.

"So, wait, you're like a millionaire? I thought you were just some guy who knew Utau. That's crazy!" Kukai continued to blush, and while he would have purposefully returned the conversation back to Utau, he was too embarrassed to speak. Utau was proud of herself for speaking to a stranger, for going along with Kukai's crazy plan, and meeting a semi-normal girl in her apartment building until she realized what she had done. By telling Aiko that Kukai was a millionaire, she had only increased her interest in him.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ Utau repeated in her mind.

"Oh, found it!" Aiko exclaimed. She handed the lighter to Kukai, careful to make sure she touched his hand with hers. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you using that for?" Utau laughed.

"Well, it is the beginning of December and we do have fireplaces. Is it that hard to put two and two together?" Kukai shot her scornful glare. He couldn't figure out why she was being so rude to a girl she had just officially met. Utau shrugged it off.

"We're starting a fire. Well, we'd better get going." Kukai announced as he grabbed Utau's hand to drag her out (if necessary). Aiko replied that she would go with them so they didn't have to bring it back up. Utau was hesitant, but Kukai answered for her. The three walked up to Utau's apartment. It was very chilly in the halls, probably because the manager didn't like to spend extra money on heating them, so both girls huddled closely to Kukai. Utau did it purely out of being cold, but Aiko had entirely different motives. The guest stayed a few minutes after the fire had started to flirt with Kukai and did not leave until Utau had come out of the kitchen with a knife for "poking the log".

The couch faced the television, so the now alone friends sat cross-legged on the ground to be near the fire. Kukai covered them with a thick blanket from one of the closets and they moved closer to each other. When Kukai put his arm around Utau she didn't move away from him. They lied in front of the fire for over an hour before Utau's cell-phone began to ring. She apologized as she broke away from him to reach her phone in time.

"Hello?" She answered, smiling at Kukai as she said it.

"Hey Utau, what's up?" It was Ikuto.

"Oh, I'm just… at home." She replied, remembering to act aloof and uncaring.

"Great! How about coming over for dinner?" He asked her with a hopeful tone. Utau wasn't sure what to say. She was with Kukai but she hadn't seen her brother in years. Kukai would understand, and she had already blown Ikuto off once before.

"Hmm, dinner at your place? Yeah, that sounds good." Kukai sat at the fireplace, not really paying attention to Utau. He was lost in thought. Utau was his childhood friend. Nothing more, nothing less. They had grown up with each other, but he couldn't get over how much she had changed since he left Japan. She had matured and was even more beautiful than before. Now that she had blossomed and was ready to take on the world, Kukai imagined himself with her. He had never had feelings for her as a kid because he was just too young, but he wasn't sure _what_ to think anymore. His ears perked when Utau mentioned dinner though. Dinner with whom?

"Oh that's great! I'll just give you the directions over the phone if you don't mind." Utau jotted down the way to his house.

"Okay, see you tonight."

"I Love you, Utau."

"Love you too." Utau hadn't told Ikuto, or anyone for that matter, that she loved him in years. Kukai sat in silence as he mulled over what he had just heard. At first, it could have easily been a girlfriend she was going to dinner with. Just a friend of hers who wanted to get together. But how could "Love you too" be anything but an affectionate goodbye to a boyfriend? He wanted to ask her about it but with the way he felt at that moment, he doubted he'd be able to casually ask about her love life. Utau returned to him then but he did not look as happy and warm as before. She decided not to get so close to him.

"So, how's life?" Kukai inquired, beginning the conversation that he both wanted and didn't want to happen.

"Kukai, look around at where I live. What do you think?" She laughed dispiritedly. He silently nodded his understanding.

"And how is Ikuto?" He had wanted to change the subject to men and happiness, so Ikuto was the obvious choice. Before he had left Japan, Kukai knew of only one other male Utau would associate herself with, and that was Ikuto. He didn't know that his friend had lost her devotion to her brother after he had gotten engaged, so he assumed they had been close all the time he was gone.

Utau, having just spoken to Ikuto, assumed that Kukai was referring to her phone call with him.

"He's doing well." She answered blankly. The two spent the rest of their time together watching TV or eating. It was so strange for Utau to have Kukai back in her life. She felt bizarre as she walked to Ikuto's house. Ikuto, the brother she hadn't seen in 3 years. She'd meet his new wife and see how he lived. Then she might stay the night, if he insisted, and return home the next day. The home that had been empty except for herself for years. She was always a bit of an introvert, and now, to go out into the world and interact with so many people felt so outlandish that she almost couldn't believe it. It was both a pleasurable sensation and a daunting one.

Kukai, on the other hand, was feeling a bit unnerved. He was developing feelings for Utau and now that he knew he had a boyfriend, he didn't know what to feel anymore.

"I can't do that to her." He whispered to himself. "I can't love her when she is loved by someone else. As her friend, I just can't do something like that. So for the sake of our friendship, I'll forget about my feelings."

* * *

><p><em>This kind of story is so peculiar for me to write. I'm more used to the fast-paced "love that's been from the beginning" type stories. So one like this, that's a little slow to start, a bit deeper, and has more subtle tones of romance, are a challenge. Nevertheless, I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Utau and Kukai's relationship is always done so pitifully. Ramen shops and extreme competitiveness is what may have stuck with you from the animemanga, but you've only scratched the surface. Oh, I seem to have gone into a mini-rant. My bad. Anyway, thanks for reading. _


	5. Chapter 5 To Hate a SisterinLaw

_Thanks for bearing with me. I haven't updated in a while. I know some of you will be very pleased with this chapter, and maybe even a bit surprised with who Ikuto's wife is. Anyways, thanks for reading._

* * *

><p>Utau gazed nervously up at the house before her. It was wide and two-stories high. The landscaping was perfect; breathtaking bushes and trees in all the right locations, the colors of the flowers and walls corresponded perfectly, and the overall ambiance just seemed to brighten the mood. Utau was hesitant to knock on the door of her brother's home. She hadn't seen him in 3 years. He was now married to some girl she had never met and didn't care to meet. There was always the off chance that she might be at work, or perhaps shopping, but Utau wasn't sure she was ready to find out.<p>

_Well, the door's not going to knock on itself._ She told herself, hoping this would give her the confidence to knock. A few moments passed. Nothing. _Why can't I do it? I'm Utau Tsukiyomi for crying out loud! _But this didn't make her any more confident than before. She was well aware of her inability to talk to strangers. She knew that her years of solitude had not aided her psychologically. Though she wouldn't admit it to herself, she recognized that she was a completely different person than when she was younger. So reminding herself of who she was wasn't exactly the pep-talk she needed.

Finally she convinced herself that she was able to do it and accomplished the most impossible feat of the day: Knocking on a door. Later that day she mocked herself for being so dramatic over something so ridiculous. Naturally, Ikuto answered the door and gave her an awkward hug. He was a few inches taller but his hair style had changed to a more mature one. He seemed very happy in his new life. The life she hadn't been involved in, she noted. Her expression was one of disinterest.

"I'm really excited you could come." He told her as he led her into the house.

"Yeah, well." Utau responded as her violet eyes surveyed the house. Though she was trying not to jump to conclusions, everything about the house screamed 'wealthy'. Just then an average looking blond girl slowly walked down the stairs. Utau was careful to judge every step she made. _So, this is my sister-in-law?_

"Utau, this is Rima." The woman, Rima, trotted over to Ikuto's side.

"_You're _my sister-in-law?" She said disapprovingly. The woman's eyes widened.

"No, no, Utau, this is merely a friend. She stops by a few times a week to help my wife." Utau raised an eyebrow.

"With what?" She inquired suspiciously. Ikuto said goodbye to Rima quickly and then invited Utau to see for herself. He brought his younger sister upstairs. In what was probably their bedroom laid a sleeping girl. She looked peaceful with her pink hair sprawled across her face. Utau's eyes were immediately carried down to her enlarged stomach. She darted from the room, careful to remain quiet so not as to wake the sleeping girl. Ikuto followed after her with just as much care.

"She's _pregnant?_" Utau shrieked, her arms shooting about in anger. Desperately, Ikuto tried to quiet her.

"We are married, after all. I don't see the problem." Utau didn't even have an answer to this. She was too upset to speak. It had been 3 years since she had seen her brother. It angered her to know that he was married; his attention would be divided between her and another woman. But now a child? Now she would have to compete with a beautiful woman and a baby for the attention she rightfully deserved? In her quietest voice (because she really was trying to remain calm) she asked how far along the woman was.

"Amu is at about five months." He told her after a few moments of thinking. Utau couldn't help but scoff at the name. To Ikuto's great dismay, Amu came slowly trudging down the stairs, rubbing her eyes.

"Ikuto? Who's in the house?" Her husband sighed. This wasn't going exactly as he had hoped.

"It's… my sister." He responded, gesturing towards the angry blond. Amu was a bit surprised to see someone look so irritated.

"The one I haven't met yet? Oh, this is wonderful! I'm Amu Tsukiyomi!" Utau continued to stare at her with the same level of anger. She finally decided to ignore the pregnant woman and return her attention to her brother.

"You're twenty-three and want to be a father? That's ridiculous!"

Ikuto's face drained of a considerably high amount of color. He looked to his wife who also seemed upset.

"I'm turning 24 though..." he tried, grabbing Amu's hand and giving it a slight squeeze.

"Utau, I don't want there to be any secrets between us, so I'll just tell you now. I'm only 20." Utau's face turned bright red. Her brother's wife was a year younger than herself! Her brother's wife was barely an adult and already pregnant. Her brother's wife was an _idiot_. "I'll be turning 21 in a few months though, so it's not that big of a deal." She shrugged it off. Utau was too angry to scream. She was losing her brother to a ditzy teenager!

"What about college?" She asked in a calm, tepid manner. Amu grimaced.

"I don't need a job. Ikuto can support me." Utau's eyes widened in shock.

"So why aren't you out living your life together? Why are you starting a family so young?" She demanded. After all, Utau was going to be a famous celebrity before she even had a boyfriend! She couldn't comprehend a young girl starting a family so soon.

"This is the life we've chosen to live." Ikuto answered simply as he put an arm around his wobbly wife. Without another option, Utau went outside. And screamed. After her frustration was handled she went back inside with a plastered-on smile.

"I'm okay now, Ikuto." She said, clearly exasperated. She eyed the room and shot Ikuto a questioning glance.

"She went back to bed." He answered. With no further need for explanation, the two siblings finally began their reunion. It began with a long talk in the family room about what they had been doing with their lives. Utau grudgingly told him about her impoverished life style, her reunion with Kukai, and of course her new job. This reminded her that she had lessons the following afternoon.

Ikuto was happy to go into great detail about his life. Amu's life was mixed in as well, with references like 'after that memorable day I proposed to Amu' and 'two days later Amu and I went on a marvelous date'. He explained to her about majoring in music but ultimately finding his career as a manager at a restaurant (he had connections). He and Amu had decided to try for children immediately, but it had taken a few months before she conceived. After Amu had completed high school she was going to start college, but became engaged a week before the first term started.

"I truly love Amu. She is so comfortable with who she is. She tells me that when she was younger she acted like a different person, but now she's able to be herself. I've grown too, Utau. I'm much more comfortable sharing my feelings, and I don't isolate myself anymore. I'm willing to let people help me with my problems. And it's all thanks to her." Utau wasn't sure why she grimaced. Maybe it was because she hadn't matured much at all. In fact, if it was possible, she seemed to have gotten less mature. Or maybe it was because the over whelming jealousy was becoming too much to handle. Either way, she decided to keep silent.

After they were caught up, Ikuto suggested they go to lunch (his treat, of course). He wanted to surprise her so he brought her to an old ramen shop. She grimaced at the sight of it. The overbearing scent was one of stale noodles and rotted sauce. Inside there were very few tables and very many customers. A long wait for bad food? Utau didn't think so. Instead they decided to dine at the restaurant Ikuto managed.

They were seated quickly and almost immediately served their food, despite the lunch rush. Utau liked this place much better.

"Ikuto, can I ask you something?" He nodded as he ate his pasta. "Amu was pregnant before you were married, wasn't she?" She carefully watched his reaction. He may be inclined to lie but his body language would give him away.

"No Utau, I promise you, she was a virgin up until our wedding night." Utau couldn't help but laugh at his obvious reference.

"Well, at least I don't have to ask about how your honeymoon went!" She laughed, but then became a bit more serious. "And... were _you_a virgin the day before your wedding?" Silence.

"Amu didn't like the answer to that question either." He laughed. But of course this led him to be curious about his sister.

"And... what about you? Are... are you a virgin?" He checked, clearly uncomfortable. Utau thought for a moment about her response. She wanted to be aloof but she also wanted to assure her brother of her purity. And she couldn't point out that she barely had spoken to anyone in 3 years! Finally she decided what to say.

"Does it really matter?" Ikuto's face fell.

"I see. Well, mom w-"

"Ikuto, I am a virgin." She said very seriously. Her eyes were firm as she spoke.

"Good. No guy needs to touch my little sister." He said as he playfully punched Utau's arm. "Except maybe Kukai. That kid was okay." Utau nearly choked on her salmon. Another customer had to come over and give her the Heimlich. When she had recovered she turned it Ikuto with a red face.

"Did you just give Kukai permission to-" Ikuto quickly covered her mouth, totally embarrassed.

"I didn't mean it like that." He assured her. "I was just saying he could date you if he wanted to!" Another silence ensued, though this one was much less awkward.

"Now that Kukai is a millionaire and gorgeous, he'd never settle for someone like me. So even if I did like him like that, it wouldn't mean anything." Utau couldn't see for herself, but she was sure her face was doused with a light pink blush. Ikuto's face did not change, however. He looked as serious as ever.

"I never thought Amu would settle for me." He responded simply, but with so much truth and emotion in his voice that Utau wanted to embrace him.

After lunch they decided they needed something fun to do. But whenever one made a suggestion, the other ruled it out. One would think that siblings would have similar tastes, but after years of being apart, they really had very little in common. They finally settled for playing video games back at Ikuto's.

Now Utau was a very competitive person; she did _not _like being outdone or beaten at anything. So when Ikuto was annihilating her at a game she had never played before, she was not pleased. Sure, she hadn't played it before, but that wasn't a valid excuse in her eyes. The very-pregnant Amu was sitting across Utau. She beamed at Ikuto, who was snorting as he sniped Utau yet again. She then turned to Utau and gave her a reassuring smile, which Utau returned with a glare.

After Utau left for a bathroom break, Amu turned to her husband.

"She doesn't like me…" She looked to Ikuto for any kind of reassurance. After all, Amu had just met her sister-in-law and had barely said two words. So why was she hated?

"She's… cautious. Utau isn't a very social person. I don't know why, but she doesn't trust anyone." He explained. Amu's eyes saddened as she mulled this over. The woman she had just met hated her guts. What could she possibly do about that? With a new determination, she smiled at her husband.

"I'm making you a promise, Ikuto. Before this baby is born, Utau will like me!"


End file.
